The Intermediary – January 2026 - Flipbook - Page 79
B RO K E R B U S I N E S S
Opinion
But how does that
make you feel?
T
he old way of handling
things was to keep a stiff
upper lip at work, with
the odd explosion of
rage when the pressure
built up. Feeling, like
lunch, was for wimps. So, how much
has this changed?
One client of mine reached
senior management level with his
best kept secret, a terror of public
speaking, undetected. He was great
at delegating presentations, selling
it as a development opportunity. The
emotional cost was immense – the fear
of being found out, or anticipating
being called to give an address
unexpectedly. He finally confessed
and asked for help, and we examined
his shame about having ‘weak,
unmanly’ emotions.
The new leaders coming up the
ranks are surely less likely to see
things this way, especially as science
tells us that emotional intelligence is
closer correlated with success than
general intelligence.
I have always had an antipathy to
the term ‘emotional intelligence’.
Intelligence is a tricky and flawed
concept, let alone when applied to
emotions. The implication is that the
higher you score, the beer it is. Yet,
we do not want a trauma surgeon
overcome by her feelings, or a fire
officer distressed about that proverbial
kien up a tree!
I prefer the concept of emotional
literacy – the capacity to read
Too often,
organisations focus on the
rational and intellectual,
ignoring the seething
emotions present in every
meeting or presentation”
emotions. For many, this will
feel like trying to understand a
foreign language.
It also means using this awareness
to manage relationships and make
beer decisions. Emotionally literate
people are auned to the emotional
climate of their teams, and respond
with empathy, clarity, and integrity.
Too oen, organisations focus on
the rational and intellectual, ignoring
the seething emotions present in every
meeting or presentation. It is not the
leader’s job to turn therapist, but it is
their job to read the room and consider
all the data that will determine
how well any strategic initiative is
carried out.
Daniel Goleman successfully
wrote about emotional intelligence
in 1995. I recommended his book to
a CEO of a Council. He proceeded
to slam it on the boardroom table,
scan his directors with gimlet eyes,
demanding, ‘Who has read this book?’
in a stunning display of completely
lacking emotional awareness, as they
fidgeted and avoided his gaze like
scared schoolboys…
He had yet to learn that, at its core,
being emotionally literate includes:
1. Self-awareness – Understanding
your own emotions, triggers,
values, and how they affect your
behaviour and decision-making.
2. Self-regulation – Managing your
emotional reactions and staying
composed under pressure.
3. Empathy – Sensing others’ feelings
and perspectives and taking an
active interest in their concerns.
4.Social skills – Building healthy
relationships, resolving conflicts,
and inspiring and influencing
others positively.
5. Motivation – Being driven by
purpose and values rather than ego
or fear.
So, why is emotional intelligence more
relevant than IQ? The key is in the
capacity to see the whole picture and
AVERIL LEIMON
is co-founder
of White Water Group
troubleshoot the issues that might
undermine success.
The fact that it’s more humane and
makes you beer to work for are just
wonderful side effects.
Leaders with high emotional
intelligence: build more resilient,
loyal teams; reduce stress and
burnout; increase engagement and
collaboration; and navigate change
with grace.
So, where do you start?
Notice your feelings and try to
discern what others are feeling in the
same situation – try recording your
emotional reactions for a week. What
were the feelings, the circumstances,
and how did you deal with them?
Complete denial? ‘I’m fine’ snarled at
anyone who asks? Having a rant at
anyone in your path?
Clarify what caused your feelings –
was your emotion the only response
to the event, or was it shaped by your
own fears?
Calibrate your emotion. Was
murderous rage the right response to
the trivial error someone made, or had
there been a build up of frustration
which just spilled over at that
moment? Find ways to incorporate
emotions into feedback.
Remember – how people feel about
something is a valuable source of data.
The more you can read emotions, the
more effective you will be. ●
January 2026 | The Intermediary
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